Month: October 2016

Not Strictly Ballroom

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”  Brene’ Brown

  • Dance Journal: Think of another memory of ballroom dance and your thoughts about it before you began dancing.  Remember a journal is a judgment-free zone;  just get your impressions,  experiences and feelings down. 

I saw the movie Strictly Ballroom and thought, holding my breath a little, that surely that was not a real thing.  The seeds of excitement and possibility began to germinate.  Ballroom dance studios must only exist in Hollywood and exotic places like Australia…but not here in the United States.  Not now.  Right?

Everything about that movie was campy and over the top, but the transformation that Fran goes through, as “hollywood” as it was, was what I wanted to believe dance could do–totally take a caterpillar to butterfly by changing their focus, their perception of themselves and those around them.  Give them the confidence and inspiration to become the radiant hero of their own story–and with sparkle and music and romance.

In the beginning, Fran is the typical frumpy introvert.  She chooses her clothing to conceal her figure.  She wears no make-up.  Her frizzy hair is in a sloppy bun.  She is bumped and buffeted on the studio floor as she is in life, run over by those with more confidence and stronger sense of self.  Watching her is painful because we have all been her at some time in our life.  Fran lives on the wings of the stage watching life through the curtains.  strictly-ballroom-baz-luhrmann-749103_1600_900-1

Critics might say she was always attractive, they just made her unattractive for the effect of the transformation, but isn’t that the point? Fran has no partner because she thinks she doesn’t deserve one.  Who we and the other characters see when they look at Fran is a direct reflection of who she thinks she is.  And the same is true of all of us.  If we don’t feel worthy of attention or are afraid of negative reactions, we hide; we try to escape notice.

Fran is meek and quiet in the beginning, but as she begins to see herself as a dancer, she starts taking more care with her appearance.  She finds an inner peace that begins to shine through her face, still shy, but beginning to blossom.  She is starting to let her true self to show.

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When Fran finds herself and her voice through dance, she surprises everyone, including herself.  When she reaches the point that she feels herself worthy to compete with the others, Fran has become colorful, sensual, and flirtatious. It is miraculous.  It is magical.  It seems like a complete fiction and the stuff of movies, but I have seen it happen time and again at the dance studio.  When we feel beautiful, we are beautiful.  When we feel worthy, we can take on anything with perseverance, passion, and effort.  And when we let ourselves shine, we can begin to inspire others.  Only through stepping out of the shadows and taking the risk of being hurt, of being mocked, of failing can we fulfill our potential.  And only when we do that can we truly help those around us do the same.  And isn’t that what life is all about?

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Dance Is Always “In Season”

murf-beautiful-thingsOctober brings the true change of season; nature pulls out its palette of reds, yellows, and oranges to add dramatic flair to the landscape as the cool air is warmed by the autumn sun.  At National Dance Clubs, October also brings the pageantry and sparkle in our biggest performance of the year: our Showcase.

2016’s showcase, In Season, directed by JT Thomas, brought the spectrum of feelings to color the amazingly beautiful fall day.  The dances illustrated the gamut of emotions and experiences life can present of each of us, showing the panorama of life.  They also showed that dance itself is always in season.  No song epitomized this more than the Murfreesboro National Dance Clubs’ staff routine, “Beautiful Things.”

So many times in our life we can feel alone.  We can feel unseen or misunderstood.  We step into the background to let others shine.  We swallow our disappointments and the pain that feelings of isolation bring.  We fear sometimes we are stuck in a place we no longer want to be, trapped by habit and expectations.

If once in your life you wished you were someone else,
If once in your life you thought there was no way out,
If once in your life you’d like to save yourself realize,
Somehow there are beautiful things.

One day, we take a gamble and walk in to our first dance lesson.  We swallow our fears enough to try to become something more, something new.  Welcomed joyfully into the community of dancers and the culture of the National Dance Clubs, we begin to see the beauty in ourselves and those around us in ways we may not have before, and this is never so evident as at Showcase.  This realization radiates when students don that marvelous, sparkling costume for the first time with their hair and make-up completing the transformation.  Dancers feel the adrenaline rush of anticipation, fear, excitement, exhilaration, and triumph.  You cannot help but feel beautifully alive and connected when you perform in showcase.

Dance with me and sing with me
To the sounds when we make love.
Somehow those are beautiful things.

Your god is a beautiful thing,
Our world is a beautiful thing,
Our mind is so beautiful,
Our bodies are beautiful things,
And colors and wonder are
Beautiful things,
Our voices are – your voices are,
Just sing – just sing your song.

Just as happiness is magnified by moments of sadness,  beauty does not come from perfection, but in the experience of the breadth of the entire experience in the show–from the things that went right, to the impromptu choreography of the day, and the unexpected roller coaster of emotions the day brings.  We learn to enjoy and appreciate the ride in all its shades, and that beauty is in the imperfection, in the expression, and in the connection.  Our notion of who we are and what we are capable of becomes expands.  When we dare to dance with others and in front of others, we help each other find the beauty in ourselves and in all things.

Can we find it in us,
Can we find it in us,
Can we find it when we’re broken.
Please show us how.
Can we find it in us,
Can we find it in us,
Can we find it with no backdoor.
Can we find it in us,
Can we find it in us now.

Somehow we are beautiful things.

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From Wallflower to Centerpiece

Tomorrow is the big day; National Dance Clubs‘ SHOWCASE!  Few of us as an adult get to have the spotlight on us.  To be part of a show, part of a team, to dress up, and to perform.  No matter whether it is your first time on stage or your hundredth,  the flurry of butterflies begin to flutter.

The adrenaline rush is part of why we do this.  The music, the costumes, the dance, the connection with our partner, the other cast members, and the audience–all of this is the thrill of being alive, being seen, connecting, and expressing the joy of it all.  Many of us used to feel more comfortable holding up a wall or making ourselves as small as possible before we learned how to dance.  The dance world is filled with introverts.  Ballroom gives you the opportunity to venture into the spotlight to see how warm it can be.  Nowhere else will you find a group of supporters more understanding and enthusiastic than in the world of ballroom dance…especially at the National Dance Clubs.

For those of you in the show, remember, you are dancing your dance…not someone’s choreography, and therefore, there are no mistakes, only impromptu personal choreography.  Do not let “getting it right” get in the way of the exhilaration of the experience.  Relax as much as you can.  Smile.  Be grateful for everything that has led you to this moment, and LIVE!  The great thing about showcase is that this performance is only the first.  You have the chance to refine, explore, and improve this routine throughout the year.  The best is yet to come.

If you do not yet have your tickets, get them now!  Support your fellow dancers and their journey.  Picture yourself gathering the courage to get up there yourself and sharing a side of yourself you may not have ever imaged you had.  Spread your wings.  You, too, can fly.  Get ready to sparkle; Christmas is just around the corner…and Michael Chapman will be here next week…

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Dance Journal

Because learning to dance is a journey of discovery and because reflection is the most important part of the learning process, I have decided to keep a dance journal.  I am going to be coming up with journal prompts each week.  I invite you to keep your own dance journal.  I will share my entries, and I would love to hear some of yours.  Even if you don’t share, get yourself a journal or composition book and document your journey.

  • Think about what you thought about ballroom/partner dancing and ballroom dancers before you took any lessons. Describe your memories, expectations, and fears of ballroom before you ever had your first lesson.

I always wanted to learn to how to dance.  Not ballet.  Not jazz.  Partner dance.  I grew up watching old musicals on the weekend.  I loved the grace and energy and romance of partner dance, but I really was fascinated with the idea of the transformation through dance.

Yes, Ginger Rogers was an inspiration and the first one most people think of when they think of women partner dancers, but the person I most admired took me waaaay outside my comfort zone.  My secret desire was to be like Cyd Charisse..

Not only was Dancing in the Dark with Fred Astaire in The Band Wagon one of may favorite dances, but she could turn up the sizzle like nobody with her legs that seemed to go on forever whether playing the siren to Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain.  She could be anyone through dance: sweet, romantic, sultry, seductive.  She graceful, lithe, and athletic.  She was sweet, sultry, sassy, and seductive–nothing I felt I could actually be except in my imagination.  She was amazing.

I grew up in Northeastern Ohio with a lot of European traditions.  My family was Polish, Czech, and German, so at weddings we danced.  I remember seeing my grandparents especially dancing at weddings with an energy and enthusiasm that surprised me…foxtrot, waltz, polka–especially the polka.

My first memory of dancing myself was, of course, at a wedding.  I was old enough for my father to ask me to dance, probably about 10 or 11.  I felt so grown up.  We did a foxtrot.  Nothing fancy.  Dad was not a dancer.  A basic box step.  Fred Astaire he was not.  Cyd Charisse I was not, but it was a moment in time when it was just him and just me.  Together.  The same people as always.  But different.  Different individually and different together.

Then, the dance was over, and my grandfather asked me to dance.  I remember thinking the foxtrot with dad was nice, but slow and uneventful.  I felt older.  More pretty.  More me.  I thought Grandpa would be even slower…I may have mentally rolled my eyes or steeled myself for rather boring dance.  He was so old after all.  (Remember, I was 10).  The dance was a polka.  And my grandfather was still enough in touch with his polish roots his family had a group passport photo.

I have to say my grandfather was the first man to really sweep me off my feet.  Literally.  He took my breath away.  From the first step I do not remember my feet hitting the ground again.  We twirled and hopped and skipped, and I held on.  It was like being on a roller coaster but so much better.  I had never had so much fun in my life.  And it was hands down, the best memory I would ever have with my grandfather.  I saw him with completely new eyes after that.  He became heroic and romantic not only because he had command of the dance floor, but because he asked me to dance, and we shared the most intimate few moments of our life together, when he was focusing on me and having fun with me and opening my eyes to how dance not only transforms us, but how it can transform how we see others and enrich our relationships with them.

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Shall We Dance?

Partner dance is hands-down one of the best activities you can do.  We can talk all day about the mental, physical, and emotional/social benefits of partner dancing, but it is even more than that.  I have made it my mission to be a “dance evangelist” and spread the word of ballroom and to do whatever I can to inspire people to try it at least once.  I believe  in the transformative power of partner dance to help people who they most would like to be–to realize their dreams and bring out the best in them.

I know, it sounds like a tall order for such a seemingly inconsequential activity, but we long for meaningful connection in this world and simultaneously fear our unworthiness.  We want people to care about us.  We want to be seen and to be heard.  We want to matter.  But we worry we are too fat, to old, to uninteresting, too unattractive, too unworthy.  Partner dance brings this out more than any other activity…it is scarier even than public speaking.  We all feel like awkward middle school students at their first dance even into adulthood if we don’t learn how to dance with a partner.  We feel like everyone will be looking at us and be judging us.  Our biggest bully is usually the voice in our head.

We have a saying in the dance world:  The hardest step in learning how to dance is the first one through the front door.  Swallowing all of those fears and insecurities to come in and learn how to dance is a tremendously courageous act.  No, we don’t risk life or limb, but our psyche and our heart.  Brene’ Brown, in her famous TED talk, tells us that the birthplace of all creativity, love, and joy is found only through opening ourselves to vulnerability.

Dancing helps the real you–the best you–shine.  And what you learn about yourself through dancing, what you learn about partnership and communication, what you learn to express on the dance floor, can transform your life.  Shall we dance?

 

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